The Radicalness of GODLY Femininity!

Wow!! What a awesome couple of months:)

I’ve been a long journey throughout my adult life, searching for my purpose and destiny. I got married at 19, currently have 4 children and my husband is a God-fearing man of God. This can often be overwhelming for any person. I was raised to believe in “women’s rights”, “feminism”, you name it. I was taught to be a strong-willed women. Even though my family was “Christian” and went to church “religiously”, I was taught that submission to one’s husband was a requirement of scripture BUT relative to say the least.


After being married for 13 years, I’m finally seeing the truth. After coming to the realization that what I had been doing was not actually “submission”, I had to take a redirection in the course of my behavior and living. My husband had been trying to tell me for years that the behavior that I was portraying was not really submission. He had been complaining about my disrespect and showing me various ways I which I would disrespect him and his headship. Truthfully, at the time, I thought that HE was the one misunderstanding scripture and taking that verse out of context. God couldn’t really mean submit to a mere mortal man after he has said something to hurt MY feelings. After he had did things to sin against me. After he has clearly made visible mistakes, right?

I never cursed him out. I very seldom raised my voice to scream at him. I cooked. I cleaned. I took care of the kids. I stood by him. I, I, I. I never really considered him, my husband and how he was feeling. I discounted his feelings. I never really considered the truth in God’s word and how it stands all alone by itself. I took what the culture, my upbringing and my own opinions and mixed them with the word to form my own understanding. Wow! This is potentially dangerous.

It wasn’t until I saw my marriage at the pivotal of divorce for the….uummm 5TH TIME, did I actually try to seek out God’s divine truth. I sought help from the world wide web through use of bible scripture, godly blogs, videos, etc.  It was until then did I find out that what I was doing was actually rebellion. It was not godly submission and godly femininity. What I was taught was as “witchcraft”. (1 Samuel 15:23).

I realized that what society and culture constitutes as “femininity” is actually witchcraft, hedonism and ultimately IDOLATRY! Thanks to The Peaceful Wife and other sites devoted to showing women how to live in godly femininity, I began to learn what God wants me to be and how He desires me to live. I am still on my journey of course but I am definitely on my way!!

I refuse to let my generational curse of un-submission rule my life. I refuse to let witchcraft through rebellion to God’s word rule my life. For God’s word says “The head of woman is man” (Ephesians 5 NKJ). God has an ordained order that He expects from His children or those professing to be His.

I began to learn about the idolatry within my heart. How I lived in idolatry by placing my feelings, emotions, opinions, thoughts, hurt, pain, you name it, over God’s word. Over being obedient to Him. I thank God for wisdom and insight. I praise God for His grace and mercy on me and this world. I thank Him for giving me a chance to see the truth and for empowering me to walk in it each day.

I must say that each day is a struggle right now just like a baby learning to walk. Each day, I MUST press in to God’s word and Holy Spirit. If not, lets just say that day won’t go to well. I encourage everyone to study the truth in God’s word on this subject for yourself. Research and find resources and study materials to help you. There is true liberty and freedom is letting go and LETTING GO! In releasing everything even your most sacred things, to Him.

Update: 12/9/13

I do not want my postings to portray ‘one-sided ness’. Every marriage is different. Some may deal with abusiveness at the hands of their husbands, be it physical, emotional or mental. Some may deal with drug abuse and other marital issues. If you deal with any of these issues or any other serious issue, please seek the Lord for guidance. Also, professional/spiritual counseling by a trained and certified professional may be a viable solution. This blog posting, as well as other’s I may post, is devoted to highlighting my personal journey, knowledge and wisdom that I’ve learned and am learning along my journey to becoming the wife that God delights in based on His word. It’s devoted to helping other women whose marriages may have or be suffering because of their sin of rebellion, lack of respect and submission to their husband and who desire to change from this into the gentle and peaceable spirited wife that God desires. It’s devoted to women whose marriage may not be suffering but who desire to become what Christ want’s them to be. 1 Peter chapter 3.


2 thoughts on “The Radicalness of GODLY Femininity!

  1. Hi Nekiwa,

    I am a Christian woman who believes that God gives wives AND husbands responsibilities. It is not always about a wife submitting. A husband is given the responsibilitiy to love as a servant leader to love as Christ loves the church. Also I need to let you know, that every blog on the internet that talks about marriage, is not necessarily of God. You must use your wisdom and discernment. Just because you are befriended by women and men on these marriage blogs who say cute, fancy phrases to you, doesn’t mean they are right in their comments about marriage, and certainly doesn’t mean they are of God. Use your wisdom and know that Satan is busy and deceitful. Pray and ask God to show you the truth about people who speak to women only about submitting and respecting. It’s a big turn off to wives.
    Remember, God tells us to watch out for false prophets. He doesn’t want us to become caught up in these man made doctrines that put wives down and exalt and build up husbands. If you are truly a woman, you ought to have some compassion for women and if women need to be lectured, it shouldn’t be a scolding and belittling all the time the way you all are doing here on the intenet. While women are being scolding, these husbands are tearing down the world with their sins as men. Do you really beieve that God condones this practice? If you are a Christian and beleive in God, please read the Bible all the way through, for yourself.
    Wives are not the only sinners.

    • Hi Beryl,

      Thank you for your comment. I always welcome all godly wisdom. You are so right. Wives are not the only sinners. The bible says we’ve all fallen short. This includes men and women. But my blog is devoted to helping women specifically. I do value your input and will in the future make sure to let my readers know that men are responsible for their individual sins as well as us ladies but my blog is devoted to helping women and showing them what I’ve learned and is learning along my journey. Its only for women who strive to be better wives and please the Lord in this fashion. The bible lays out the responsibilities of women and men and children. There are lots of directions and instructions that the bible gives to men as being the head of their home, providing, spiritually leading, etc. Men sin like we do but we are not responsible for their sins, they are going to have to give an account before the Lord for their sins, just like us women have to give an account for our sins. We can’t control what they do just like they can’t control what we do. The Holy Spirit is the one who convicts and changes lives, wives and husbands. I desire to be blessed and have God’s presence in my life because of my obedience to the commands that He has placed on me as a wife. 1 Peter chapter 3 tells women what to do and how to act if their husband is caught up in any sin. It reads “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives” NIV version. We are so different, men and women. We have to learn how to communicate with each other in a beneficial and profitable way that is pleasing to the Lord. My desire is not to belittle or tear down women but to build them up in the Lord. We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us. It’s all about Jesus Christ and His plan and His glory. He created marriage to bring Him glory. He cannot get glory from a marriage if the man is not in his position or if the woman is not in her position. He is a God of order. The world does not and can not see or understand this. That is why the divorce rate is so high in the church. Neither party is willing to sacrifice or die to their own selfishness and desires or willing to put the overall good of the family above their and women. I’ve spoken and listened to many married Christian couples who’ve been married for 20+years, including Bishop T.D. Jakes, of whom I dearly respect as a wise man of God. Most have stated that the key to their marriage has been to remain and know that their love is not a feeling but a fact. Some days they don’t feel like they love the other because of various reasons but marriage is a covenant not a contract. It can’t be broken before the Lord. Man try to break it with divorce but the covenant remains. Love is not a feeling. Its a fact. If married, know that the devil will fight you using the other person with all that He has but if we can remember the covenant and seek the Lord, HE will change us and the other person(our husband). Its not our job to change our spouse but His. We have to totally rely and depend on Him and His Spirit to change us FIRST out of our devotion to striving to be what He want’s us to be. I know this can be difficult. I’m living it now. I’m having to change and transition from all that I was taught growing up to be something that I am not…a godly wife. I’m having to put on the ‘mind of Christ’ and put off my mind. I’m having to totally ‘renew my mind’ by being ‘transformed’. The bible says to put on the mind of Christ. His mind is His word. I must follow His word.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s