Men and their “Natural Hair” Mindset!

Okay, as you can tell by the title of my post, this is going to be a VERY controversial posting(LOL)!.

I’ve been married for 12 years now(shout out to my hubby:)) and I love him to death.

I meet SO many women who say that their significant other “rejects” their natural hair and aggressively tries to persuade them to “straighten, relax or weave it!” Okay people, this is crazy to say the least. With all of the years that us “black folk” have been in America(an other countries), I think its about time that OUR men accept and embrace us for who God created us to be. This is why I call myself a “revolutionist”. Yes, its revolutionary to go against the mainstream grain by going fully natural, fro and all.

I’ll tell you a little about my natural hair hubby relationship..

When I first went natural, he was the first person to suggest it. After hearing me complain all the time about my relaxed hair, he said, “why won’t you go natural and grow all of your perm off”. I took his advice. I wore box braids for 2 years and then cut off all of my relaxer. Oh boy, he didn’t know what he had gotten himself into. I then started wearing braid-outs. Mind you, my hair was a meddy fro(about 3-4 inches) and it looked very cute in my opinion. I would braid the front and do a braid out on the back(sorry no pics guys).

When I would try to do any other style, he would totally reject it and say, “sugar, please keep doing what you’re doing”. Unfortunately, after so long, I grew wearing of wetting my hair and re-braiding at night(this was the only way to keep the braid pattern on my 4c hair) and being that I did not know how manage or take care of my natural hair the RIGHT way, I went back to relaxing. Let the record show that my hubby had not part in my re-relaxing my hair. Let’s fast forward a couple of years. After deciding to go natural this second and last time, I decided to cut the remaining relaxer off and wear my TWA!! OMG!! My hubby must have “had a fit” to say the least. He no longer liked “braid-outs” and he had a difficult time accepting my natural hair. Now, I should have mentioned earlier above that the first time I went natural, I actually applied a “texturizer”. I know, I know, this actually “un-naturaled my hair”. (Is un-naturaled a word?)

Since then, I’ve realized that my hubby only liked the previous braid-out because it was on ‘texturized’ hair which made my hair texture look more like GOOD HAIR!!

Oh yes, the term GOOD HAIR!! I’m really starting to despise this word in our culture and community. In my opinion, there is NO SUCH THING!! All hair is GOOD HAIR to me because its the hair that God saw fit to grow out of the individuals head..

Moving on..

Fortunately, I guess my hair has grew out to an acceptable length for my hubby(I survived the “why won’t you wear braids again) speeches. He thought my mini-twists looked “masculine”(WOW!) As a culture, I believe us “women” are responsible for our men’s perception of natural black hair. Because we are not confident of our natural hair ourselves, it filters over to create bad ¬†and mis-perceptions to in our men.

We have to move from trying to make ourselves something that we’re not or at least respect those who do. Many relaxed girlies talk down on those of us who’ve decided to go natural. I still don’t understand why they feel the need to do so being that we’re all women and we should support each other by sticking together. But if we can’t conjure up enough self-esteem and confidence in who God created us and each other to be, we can’t begin to expect our men to do it.

To sum it up…

My hair is about shoulder length when stretched and recently I put mini-twists on my hair and my hubby said, “I like that sugar, won’t you wear it like that more often!”

You see, I basically held my grown with very little compromising. Although, I definitely had to help my hubby change his mindset about natural hair(short natural hair that is), it was well worth it!

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The NAPPTURAL’s Creed!

A Napptural’s Creed
  • Napptural chic’s are fierce, bold and a FORCE to be wreckened with! Some might call us “REVOLUTIONARY“.Our hair texture is versatile, agile and fluid, making it one of the best kind of textures to have, in the WORLD! Love it, embrace it!
  • Natural hair is “UNIQUE” in that it can be styled a variety of ways. Your options are limitless. Some might try to lock “natural hair” into a box…..DON’T LET THEM! Do not believe the hype! Natural black hair(as well as other naturally curly hair types) can grow to LONG, LONG lengths.
  • Have confidence in who and HOW God created you to be. Embrace your natural hair and KNOW that it is beautiful. Others will sense and feed off of your self-esteem and confidence. This will help others around you, who might not agree or “feel” your natural hair, understand, feel, accept and start seeing it for what it truely is…BEAUTIFUL!
  • Refuse to “RELAPSE!” Coming from a previous “relapser”, refuse to give in to returning to relaxers or the “creamy crack”. Have a sound resolve within yourself to be dedicated and determined to grow your naturally, healthy hair. You’ll love yourself(and your hair will love you) for it!
  • Know that all hair is different. If you compare your hair to someone else’s, you will become frustrated. There are various hair types, lengths and textures and no one has the EXACT same hair. This is what makes us all uniquely different from one another.
  • Patience is the “holy grail” of natural hair culture. Don’t allow yourself to be stressed out over your hair or how its growing. Know that with applying proper methods and guess what..PATIENCE.. your hair will blossom into the best hair that you could imagine. Also, stress can word adversely against your hair. Stress can lead to thinning, damage and bald area’s within the scalp.
  • Lifestyle is critical. Having a healthy lifestyle means drinking plenty of WATER, eating a HEALTHY DIET, EXERCISING and MANAGING STRESS levels. All of these factors play an important role in growing long, healthy, natural hair. Remember: healthy hair begins on the INSIDE! One of the best ways that I reduce stress is by PRAYER & Mediation on the Scriptures! Can’t get enough of it!
  • Moisture, moisture and moisture! You’ve probably seen this fact repeated numerous times on natural hair sites and blogs but its SO true! Water loves your hair and natural hair LOVE’S WATER! Give your hair moisture through one of the best moisturizing agents known to man, WATER! You do not have to go spending hundreds of dollars on moisturizing products, you can opt for simple H20 and a sealant.

Little Natural Girls, Confidence And The Dolls They Love!

Since I’ve been natural and into this quote on quote “natural thang”.I seen the light! It’s truly very revelatory to say the least. Though most of my closest friends are still addicted to that “creamy crack”, we try not to judge each other knowing that all things might not work for everyone.But I am loving being a natural due to the fact that it is very low maintainence, when compared to other regimes. Lately, I’ve been having a problem with my 2 little girls. I have a 5 year old and a 7 year old. When my seven year old was 3, I put a “Just For Me” relaxer on her head. After finding out that I made the wrong decision, I began transitioning her hair.

Thankfully now, both of my girls are full naturals. The problem is that both of them are now in school and dealing with pressure from a “straight” haired world. Most of her classmates are of other races or have relaxed hair. I’ve been trying to get them to understand and appreciate their unique beauty. I often tell them of how God create us with the hair that is “growing” out of our roots, straight, wavy or curly and that we should not covet someone else’s hair.

I have straightened their hair before and this appeased them somewhat. Do you know that my 5 year old had the audacity to ask for a “PERM”! Red alarms went OFF in my head! Okay, this was the last straw! This is when I decided to cultivate my inner natural! A friend of mine sent me a Facebook link to Afro Glitz and site devoted to expressing young natural hair. This was the first time that I had saw natural haired dolls. They were beautiful(unlike the black dolls of day…UGLY!)

I showed them to my girls, in addition to the tremendous amounts of head shots that were present, of beautiful little <a href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SN564qtvKTc”>natural hair dolls</a>. My girls loved it, seeing cute dolls and other girls like them. I went on a search to find some of these dolls online and they were EXPENSIVE!

So one day, my girls and I ran across a site where a mom, like me, was tired and fed up with not being able to find suitable cute dolls or items to help her assist her daughter in becoming confident and secure in her natural hair skin. So Beads, Braids and Beyond started making her girls dolls hair appear natural called I tried to do it with, let’s just say, the supplies I had at home. I didn’t turn out as well but definitely a new, natural barbie was born and my girls loved it

I showed them to my girls, in addition to the tremendous amounts of head shots that were present, of beautiful little natural hair dolls. My girls loved it, seeing cute dolls and other girls like them. I went on a search to find some of these dolls online and they were EXPENSIVE!

So one day, my girls and I ran across a site where a mom, like me, was tired and fed up with not being able to find suitable cute dolls or items to help her assist her daughter in becoming confident and secure in her natural hair skin. So Beads, Braids and Beyond started making her girls dolls hair appear natural called I tried to do it with, let’s just say, the supplies I had at home. I didn’t turn out as well but definitely a new, natural barbie was born and my girls loved it!