Men and their “Natural Hair” Mindset!

Okay, as you can tell by the title of my post, this is going to be a VERY controversial posting(LOL)!.

I’ve been married for 12 years now(shout out to my hubby:)) and I love him to death.

I meet SO many women who say that their significant other “rejects” their natural hair and aggressively tries to persuade them to “straighten, relax or weave it!” Okay people, this is crazy to say the least. With all of the years that us “black folk” have been in America(an other countries), I think its about time that OUR men accept and embrace us for who God created us to be. This is why I call myself a “revolutionist”. Yes, its revolutionary to go against the mainstream grain by going fully natural, fro and all.

I’ll tell you a little about my natural hair hubby relationship..

When I first went natural, he was the first person to suggest it. After hearing me complain all the time about my relaxed hair, he said, “why won’t you go natural and grow all of your perm off”. I took his advice. I wore box braids for 2 years and then cut off all of my relaxer. Oh boy, he didn’t know what he had gotten himself into. I then started wearing braid-outs. Mind you, my hair was a meddy fro(about 3-4 inches) and it looked very cute in my opinion. I would braid the front and do a braid out on the back(sorry no pics guys).

When I would try to do any other style, he would totally reject it and say, “sugar, please keep doing what you’re doing”. Unfortunately, after so long, I grew wearing of wetting my hair and re-braiding at night(this was the only way to keep the braid pattern on my 4c hair) and being that I did not know how manage or take care of my natural hair the RIGHT way, I went back to relaxing. Let the record show that my hubby had not part in my re-relaxing my hair. Let’s fast forward a couple of years. After deciding to go natural this second and last time, I decided to cut the remaining relaxer off and wear my TWA!! OMG!! My hubby must have “had a fit” to say the least. He no longer liked “braid-outs” and he had a difficult time accepting my natural hair. Now, I should have mentioned earlier above that the first time I went natural, I actually applied a “texturizer”. I know, I know, this actually “un-naturaled my hair”. (Is un-naturaled a word?)

Since then, I’ve realized that my hubby only liked the previous braid-out because it was on ‘texturized’ hair which made my hair texture look more like GOOD HAIR!!

Oh yes, the term GOOD HAIR!! I’m really starting to despise this word in our culture and community. In my opinion, there is NO SUCH THING!! All hair is GOOD HAIR to me because its the hair that God saw fit to grow out of the individuals head..

Moving on..

Fortunately, I guess my hair has grew out to an acceptable length for my hubby(I survived the “why won’t you wear braids again) speeches. He thought my mini-twists looked “masculine”(WOW!) As a culture, I believe us “women” are responsible for our men’s perception of natural black hair. Because we are not confident of our natural hair ourselves, it filters over to create bad  and mis-perceptions to in our men.

We have to move from trying to make ourselves something that we’re not or at least respect those who do. Many relaxed girlies talk down on those of us who’ve decided to go natural. I still don’t understand why they feel the need to do so being that we’re all women and we should support each other by sticking together. But if we can’t conjure up enough self-esteem and confidence in who God created us and each other to be, we can’t begin to expect our men to do it.

To sum it up…

My hair is about shoulder length when stretched and recently I put mini-twists on my hair and my hubby said, “I like that sugar, won’t you wear it like that more often!”

You see, I basically held my grown with very little compromising. Although, I definitely had to help my hubby change his mindset about natural hair(short natural hair that is), it was well worth it!

“Jazzy” Braid-Out On 4B/C How-To

I don’t do “braid-outs” and “twist-outs” on my hair often. Even more so, I hardly ever do wash-n-go’s either. I keep my hair in some form of protective style 80 percent of the time(trying to retain AS MUCH length as possible). But every now and then, I feel the need to “spread my wings” and wear my hair free! Its seems that the more coily the hair, the more limited we are in loose hair styling. Don’t get me wrong, natural hair is the most versatile and liberacious hair on the planet, but looser curl patterns tend to be more versatile when it comes to wearing loose styles. Fortunately, us coily chicks still have a few loose styles that we can wear and “rock” it! Braid Outs are definitely one.

This is a style that my hubby actually requested. I wore this a lot when I went natural the first time and it got me through a many “style absent minded” days.

How I achieved this style…

What I used:

My Shea Butter mixture(you can use any leave in conditioner, holding gel/cream, setting lotion, etc.)

Spray bottle filled with water and oil

Rat tail comb

Shower comb

Light oil

1. Begin on freshly washed, product free hair

2. Make sure to detangle(as best you can) making sure the ends are detangled(if you did not detangle while you were washing your hair, be sure to grab your detangling or show comb afterwards)

3. After you’ve washed/conditioned your hair and detangled, clip hair into 4-6 sections

4. Grab your rat tail/parting comb and spray bottle to begin parting the front in small sections in order to create your design pattern(use your spray bottle to “mist” your sectioned hair to prevent drying, for easier parting/handling).

As you can see here, my parting started to get, let’s just say “a little off”

5. Make sure to section the back portion and clip to prevent the portion left for the braid out, from getting tangled in with your reserved for cornrowing

6. Continue to part/cornrow the entire front and sides, making sure to braid as much as you can, leaving out a small portion to be later braided in with the back portion

7. After you’ve completed braided the front portion in the direction you desire, clip that away into it’s own section(you can either use a clip or ponytail holder).

8. Now, begin parting and sectioning the back. Use smaller sections for a more defined look and larger sections for a looser look.

9. Spray with your spray bottle, if its dry and grab your Shea Butter mixture, moisturizer or leave in conditioner(see above).

10. Braid your sectioned hair, making sure to braid as far down as you can but tightly “twisting the ends”. I prefer to twist my ends while doing a braid out, it helps make the taking down process easier.

11. After this process is completed, wrap hair with a satin scarf and allow hair to dry(I prefer to let my hair dry overnight because I HATE sitting under a hair dryer).

12. Once dry, grab a light oil, such as “grapeseed” or “coconut” and rub a little into the palms and on the tips of your finger to use while taking down your braids(this helps prevent over frizzing)

13. Gently “pull” each braid apart, making sure not to pull too much and loose the braid pattern. Continue to do this until you’ve received the look that your going for.

Some more photo’s of my final results…

Hopefully next time, I’ll have “less” frizzing!

Being Content…Regardless?

Being content…what a great phrase right?

I wonder if I was to ask someone who is homeless, being sexually abused, on death row and the likes, “are you content with where you are?”, what their answer will be.

I bet it would not be good. Some might disagree with the statement that I am about to make but its solely based on biblical scripture, “regardless of your situation, believers must be content!” What does content mean…

Content is defined as…

“A state of satisfaction”

What does the bible say about being content…

Philippians 4: 11-13:  11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Woe, that mindset is beyond current and modern popular belief. We’re bombarded with ideas demonstrating that a persons satisfaction or “content” should be based on their situation. I’ve lived for over 30 years and I’ve learned that living on this planet brings unforeseen situations. Regardless of one’s spirituality, everyone born of a woman must suffer, endure calamity, hardships and the trials of life. Face it, all will endure some type of issue or problem within your life, some great, some small. I disagree with the “worlds” belief that a persons satisfaction is solely based on their circumstance, amount of money or material wealth.

In the above scripture in Philippians, the Apostle Paul was imprisoned, beaten and threw out of various temples an innumerable amount of time. He endured massive hardship in his flesh while living but as he stated, he learned to be content “regardless of his circumstances”.

In being content, I’ve learned that I find “joy, peace, love, hope”, you name it. It brings a peace that no one can take from you. I’m at a stage in my life where God has brought me through so many things that when a new “thing” arises, I’m confident in his quick “action” on my behalf. If He did it “that” time, He can and will do it again.

Knowing and confidently residing in the blessed hope, trust and faith in what God can and will do, calms all fear, anxiety and worry. Perfect love casteth out all fear and God IS love! Fear is a result of a lack of trust in the Father God. Often we look at our circumstance and situation and it seems impossible and often “unsolvable”. After you’ve had experience with the master, you’ll see and understand His awesomeness!!

When I run across a brother or sister or non, that is going through a trial or temptation that they feel is unbearable, I try to reassure them that the Lord will not put any more on them than they can bear and that they should stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. Standing still requires being in a state of contentness.

I challenge everyone reading this post to think about their circumstance, consider the millions of people in the world who might be going through something more worse than you and meditate on YOUR many blessings, regardless of what you may see around you and in your circumstance. Once you do this, you will resort to being content…REGARDLESS!

Jane Carter Revitalizing Leave-In Conditioner REVIEW!!

I recently received my travel kit from Jane Carter and I was SO excited to start using their products. You can read my previous post to find out my review of their shampoo. But today, I’m going to let you guys know about their leave in. Here goes a list of its ingredients…

Deoionized Water, Extracts of Aloe Vera, Comfrey, Watercress, Myrrh, Panthenol, Chamomile, Comfrey, Horsetail, Nettle, Rosemary, Hops, Henna, Certified Organic Essential Oil: Lemon, Vanilla Extract, Polyquarternium11, Soyamid DEA, PPG30, Cetyl Ether, Oleth-3 Phosphate and Phenoxyethanol

As you can see, all of the above ingredients are good for all types of hair, but did it work on my coily fro-like hair texture? First of all, I PREFER creamy leave-ins and this one was not but I must say that I definitely LIKED IT!!!

I initially used it by itself(apart from mixing with my kimmaytube leave-in) to see if there was any validity to its greatness. After a couple of uses, I noticed that my hair was smoother and stronger. This led me to add it to my kimmaytube leave-in recipe to see if it would ‘gel’ good with that as well. After adding my leave-in ingredients to it, the consistency was a little bit more runny than my traditional leave in concoction but I LOVED IT!!

I will definitely purchase Jane Carter Revitalizing Leave-In to make it a part of my cabinet arsenal. So there goes my review of this awesome leave-in…toodles!

TANGLE TEEZER…A Coily Girl’s Review

First of all, there are mixed reviews in the natural community regarding this product. As with any product, I researched reviews of it prior to purchasing simply because I DO NOT have the money to spend wastefully on ANY product claiming to help my hair!! I try to use wisdom through actively researching products prior to purchasing. Well, on a lighter note….here goes my review of the Tangle Teezer.

Here is the product description

Ask yourself – are you a hair criminal who is repeatedly guilty of torturing your hair with inappropriate brushes or combs that only tug, tighten and tear tangles from your hair? If the answer is yes, help is at hand. Hair rehabilitation is painless and easy with Tangle Teezer. Change your hair brush not your lifestyle. A Tangle Teezer hair brush will break the cycle of broken hair and give tangled hair the brush off. A revolution in detangling hair, it has the ability to flex and not pull upon contact with tangles, gently and effortlessly delivering smooth and shiny hair in an instant. The result? Hair perfection. Your perfect hair care partner, Tangle Teezer Original is a gentle pain free hair detangler that has been referred to as the miracle brush that detangles like nothing else. Its secret is it allows you to manage and style your hair as never before, transforming tangled hair into stress free, style-able hair and encouraging your hair’s natural shine and thickness to return.

Truthfully, my initial feeling was that “now that’s TOO good to be true!!”, but after seeing countless youtube videos and blog postings stating that it was like a “holy grail” for natural hair detangling, I got excited and went out to buy one!! I paid a whopping $17.00 for mine only to find out a couple of months later that the price had been reduced to its current status of approximately $10.00.

I begin using it a couple of months ago. I would start on clean hair, fully conditioned with a conditioner that had slip(although the product markets that you can detangle on wet, damp or dry hair). I would start at the ends and work my way down to the roots of my hair. Understand that I have 4b/c hair and the strands tend to coil around each other VERY easily so knots, tangles, matting, you name it is ever so prevalent(without proper detangling of course).

After a couple of uses, I noticed that hair was left in the bristles. This is typically normal when detangling. The problem is that if the hair present is absent of the little “white” bulb on the ends, its breakage and not normal shedding. Furthermore, the hair strands were really little, and appeared that it was split ends!!! Yes, split ends!!! Being that 4b/c hair tends to split more frequently and consistently than other hair types, I am overly cautious at ANY product that will make this worse and my job of fixing it HARDER!!

I IMMEDIATELY dumped the Tangle Teezer. I did not even consider to try it on my 2 little girls head, nope!!! It’s in the cabinet on retire mode currently. I have to say that it did appear to really detangle my hair, better than my old trusty dandy shower comb, but is the potential for major split ends worth it? My answer to that question is NOPE!! I continue to use my shower comb to detangle after every wash and condition session. I will probably grab the Tangle Teezer every so often to do a deep detangling(well not that often) but I would not recommend it to be used on a regular basis.

Jane Carter Solution Moisture Nourishing Shampoo Review

Well, I’ve tried LOT’s of shampoo’s advertising their specializing in natural and curly hair care(although they advertise all hair types)!! To sum it up,here’s my review of the Jane Carter Moisture Nourishing Shampoo. In  my opinion, it’s OK. Yep, just ok. I would not buy it in the future. Here’s why:

The ingredients include:

 

Deionized Water, Certified Organic Aloe Vera, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Lauryl Glucoside, Cocoamidopropyl Betaine, PolyQuaterium 7, Glycol Stearate, Glycerin, Wheat Protein, Wheat Amino Acids, Tocopherol, Lecithin, Panthenol, Caprylic Acid, Glycine, Potassium Sorbate, ,Citric Acid.

I was shocked at the ingredients…it  has a SULFATE! Sulfates are not good for hair, especially natural, chemical free hair! They can strip it and much more. Most of the times, when there are ingredients that are present but hard to pronounce(look at the end), they could be detrimental. I understand that the preservative is needed in order to keep the product. I do like the fact that it does contain some good ingredients including Certified Organic Aloe Vera(a favorite of mine), glycerin, panthenol and wheat protein. The directions state to use a “little”. They are right. I wash my hair while its twisted and in sections. As I took down each section, I added,what I thought was a little and it dried that section OUT!! Then I proceeded, this time, making sure that I used only a little and it worked ok. I’ve tried some other natural products that I liked more but on a scale of 1-10, I give it a whopping 6. That’s good in my book. I’ve also used it on my girls hair(product overall). So in my opinion, do not buy this product because there are much better, all natural products on the market that does not contain sulfates and other harmful ingredients.

Stop the “X” Mas MADDNESS!!

I am about to rant and rave!! Yes! Yes! Christmas is “Christ” plus Mas, not XMAS!! That’s societies way of taking the “Christ” out of this holiday season.Truthfully, Christmas originally had nothing to do with Jesus Christs’ birthday! Yes I said it!! Biblical and historical scholars all agree that Jesus was not born on December 25. Instead, He was born either in the month of September or January, totally different from December 25. Also, the first church, including the Apostles, did not celebrate His birthday in a long list of holidays and festivals that they did observe.

 

Christmas did not actually become a well known “christian” holiday until after Emperor Constantine of Rome issued a proclamation demanding the citizens of Rome celebrate it. But it was definitely not celebrated in its pure sense. Emperor Constantine converted to Christianity while laying on his deathbed. His last wish was that his kingdom, Rome, become religiously unified. Understand that this kingdom had a diverse amount of various religions: Judaism, Christianity and Paganism. Constantine himself was a pagan who worshiped over 1000 gods prior to converting to Christianity. Although his true conversion is open for discussion, some do believe that he was sincere.

More importantly, in order to unify his long divided kingdom, Constantine decided to merge the pagan holiday “Winter Solstice” with the celebration of the Christian God “Jesus” birthday.  Constantine did not know Jesus’ real birthday but he was all too familiar with the celebration of Winter Solstice, being that he, his family and a vast majority of Rome had celebrated it amongst their hundreds of pagan holidays, since the beginning of this kingdom. He felt he had a brilliant idea. So the pagans and the Christians would now be happy and live in peace with one another. It was hard for the pagans at first to accept Christianity, their leaders new found religion but “besides, it can’t be any different from we worship, Winter Solstice, being that its on the same day!” That’s right!!!

I challenge you today to actually do an intense study on some of these holidays that are suppose to be HOLY days to the believers of Jesus. I am a fundamental Christian who research every holiday, prior to celebrating. Christmas, Easter and Halloween are some of the most demonic and pagan filled holidays to grace the planet. What does Santa Claus and Ornaments have to do with the birth of Christ. Most Christians believe that they are biblical based things and continue to partake of them because of tradition that has been passed down throughout the generations of the church. Truthfully, “Christ” has been taken out of the CHRISTMAS for years. Christmas is a catholic term, not a CHURCH term. The catholic church coined it CHRIST-MAS. Do a study on what Mas represents.  It literally means “service”, so we are stating “Christ-service”. Most have no idea of a MAS is or represents. Furthermore, being that we celebrate on a pagan holiday and not his true birthday, we are actually giving honor to a pagan god. Most are unaware of this fundamental fact. Ignorance does not condone one’s sin’s. So for this holiday season, consider all !!

 

Make sure that you are staying true to God, His Spirit and His word!! Let’s celebrate Jesus Christ this season and Him being the ultimate gift from God for us all. Let’s focus on helping others, including the imprisoned, the impoverished, the fatherless and the sick. This is what Jesus desires for us to do in His name to honor Him. It’s not about giving and getting gifts from others, its about the ultimate Gift our father in heaven gave to us…His only begotten Son!!! Yeshua!!